Sunday, September 16, 2007

Laundry Beasts Unveiled

Thanks for all your guesses! The moment has arrived to reveal the winners, so without further ado, let me introduce you to the beast that plagues my laundry from May to September...(cue movie theme song to Friday the 13th)...



Yes, it's the dreaded grasshopper. Not the cute green grasshoppers that grow no longer than your pinky finger. Oh, no. My laundry beasts can get as long as the palm of my hand, and they squirt this brown stuff that doesn't wash out of our clothing (I'm not even going to try and guess what the brown stuff is. I've decided I'd rather not know). Not only that, but if one of these suckers gets trapped in an article of clothing that I've tossed into the ironing pile, it eats its way out. That's right--it munches holes in our clothes. I know they don't hurt people (no biting or stinging), but you have to admit it: they're gross. Really gross.

The photo above is a stock photo I got off the internet, as my husband left the chord we need for the digital camera in his office. However, when he brings it back home, I'll post the photo I took of a laundry beast on a pair of khaki shorts.

Okay, now that the shuddering has subsided and you're once again thankful for your laundry-beast-free clothes dryers, here's the first winner. The envelope please....our first winner is Julie C.! She's the only one who guessed grasshopper, so she'll be getting a shipment of chocolate in the mail! Woo Hoo!

However, there are two more winners! Unfortunately for me, another species of laundry beast emerges in the fall and winter. Just as the grasshoppers retreat to their underground winter abode, another beast emerges...(cue music from any horror movie of your choice)...



The stinkbug. These babies are only about as big as a dime, but they're still gross. And since we wear lots of brown, gray and black in the winter, these suckers blend right in. Oh, and have I mentioned they fly? So if one gets inadvertantly brought in with the laundry, we might hear it buzzing around the room at night. The buzzing always ceases when the lights go on...sly little devils.

And they love to hide at the bottom of socks. Once when we went to the mountains, I felt a pricking sensation on my toe after I'd gotten dressed that morning. When I removed my sock, there was the sinkbug--having survived being folded up into my socks, placed in my sock drawer, packed in my suitcase a few days later, and having my foot shoved into the very sock that the stickbug had called home. And yet, I felt no pity for the stinkbug. There wasn't time, really, as I screamed, hopping on one foot across the room and flinging my sock out of the window onto the surprised passersby below.

So...who wants to move to Italy now? Huh? As I don't see any raised hands, we'll move on to the second round of winners...

First, there's Joan--she said a stinkbug was one of those lime green bugs, but I'll give her the chocolate, anyway. And then we have Tina, who mentioned beetles...good enough for chocolate, in my opinion.

Woo hoo! Now if the winners will email their addresses to me, I'll get the chocolate (or pitcher, whichever they prefer) off in the mail.

A big thanks to cynjay, katia, africakid, danette haworth, katrina, and sruble for playing! I'll have another contest up next month, so I hope you'll stop by. And Katia, please pass the wine, as I'm trying to muster up the courage to bring in a load of laundry...

12 comments:

Joan said...

Ohhh boy! I'm a winner!! I'm so excited!! Thank you, Natalie!!

And... YIKES for your laundry procedures! I don't think I'll be able to complain any more about my looong walk to the basement and my trials trying to remember to put the clothes from the washer to the dryer before they get smelly. No siree, I'm in for a solid day (maybe even two or three) of counting my blessings.

Yay Natalie!!

Sheri said...

ICK! I am not so fond of bugs! You have my sympathy!

Sheri
aka~goadingthepen (blueboarder)
www.spiderstale.blogspot.com

Danette said...

OMG Natalie! Another reason to hate doing the laundry.

Danette

Katrina said...

Oh, YUCK!

I lived in a house once that was infested with crickets. They ate a lot of weird things--like the dried flowers from my wedding bouquet. They ate holes in a lot of clothes too. I was SOO grossed out, but even they didn't sprinkle clean clothes with brown liquid!

*shudder*

debi in holland said...

Oooo! (Thinking twice about taking a trip to Italy . . .)

Rose Green said...

Interesting. We get a few random crickets (I think I've seen three). Our laundry plague is earwigs. They don't do anything to you and they don't eat your clothes, but they do climb onto them and then infiltrate the house. Yuck! They are mean-looking!

C.K. said...

Eeek! I dissected a grasshopper like this in ninth grade biology class. Finding it amongst your laundry seems like even less fun. Condolences!

Katia said...

Pretty amazing, Natalie. Next time my husband complains about his disappearing socks, I'll ask him if he'd rather have YOUR type of laundry beasts, and I'll be sure to focus on the brown-liquid-squirting. Yuck!

Julie_c said...

Oh my - the brown squirting liquid is really vile. I think the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up...
maybe some lovely Italian chocolate will make me feel better!

:)

Thanks!

Danette Haworth said...

I had a bug in my sock once--freaked me out! I am so squeamish when it comes to bugs!

sruble said...

Ohh, I hate grasshoppers! Ever since that summer I went corn detassling and there was one field of corn that was solid grasshoppers -shudder- they kept hopping all over us -ugh!

Sorry about all the laundry bugs!

TinaFerraro said...

Yea, I'm a winner!

Wonderful for me, not-so-good for your laundry!

But thank you so much!